Bucharest triggers War of the Tulips

We should not be afraid of such confrontations, but rather get used to them - on one condition, though: that we don't lose them. For if we are going to lash out blindly, if we're going to fight with everyone who is hostile to us, we'll turn into the village brawlers and everyone will treat us like lepers.

It all started with the declaration on 16 September of the Netherlands' firm opposition to Romania's entrance into the Schengen area. It was an ostentatious show of opposition: the Dutch wanted not just to close the door, but to slam it on our noses.

The experts affirm that Romania has met many of the technical conditions imposed by the EU in order to join Schengen. The country has invested many billions of euros, but, being placed in the same basket as the Bulgarians, we will just have to wait until the Bulgarians too come up to an acceptable standard.

It's frustrating to be kept so close to the door, after spending weeks tidying up, after having bought a new suit and polished our shoes. Before heading out on the visit we cleared out our bank account, ate a slice of good Dutch gouda, sprayed on the best French perfume, and bought the biggest bunch of flowers (Dutch, for sure.). We arrive, we ring, we say a cheery "Hello Madame!" - and surprise, surprise: at the threshold stands a matron in a bad mood who hurls our flowers into our new suit because we reek of cheese.

We've wiped the Netherlands off the map

The question is: faced with such a situation, how should we proceed? Send the madam reeling? Or back off, without failing to remember for next time that it might be better not to touch the cheese before we head out for the visit? Or should we bring along a slingshot and shoot out the windows of the witch, yelling all the while in the street that she has the winning looks of Baba Yaga [the toothless witch of folklore of Eastern Europe)?

The steady rain of frustrations, it seems, has led us to adopt the tactic of slinging the stones. Did we carry out the arrests for nothing? [In early February, Romania's National Anticorruption Directorate (DNA) arrested140 customs officers accused of corruption and brought them to Bucharest by helicopter]. Did we promenade the culprits on the 'perp walk' to show foreigners how ruthless we are towards the scourge of corruption in our customs department, unnecessarily and in front of everyone?

The Dutch have declared that they will not let us enter the Schengen area, and we remember, as if by magic, that they too have their sore spots. Not happy with our border controls, are they? We'll show them what vigilance means!

Obviously, this could be passed off as a mere coincidence. Their tulip bulbs never interested us before. Are the bulbs, by chance, shaped a little suspiciously? Or worse, perhaps they hide a killer bacterium capable of wiping out our beloved country? For now, we're looking for the bacteria. We haven't found it yet, but we're hot on its trail. In the meantime, we've wiped the Netherlands off the map of the Schengen area for Tulips. Next time, we may be more understanding if they do their homework better...

From the Netherlands

“Strengthening the rule of law”

In an interview with Dutch public radio, the Minister of Immigration, Gerd Leers, says that by accepting the entry of Romania and Bulgaria into the Schengen area, “we would be giving (them) the keys to our ports of entry in matters that affect our own sovereignty over border surveillance. Some people who do not have the right to enter should not be able to do so through corruption.This is why we must verify whether the rule of law [in Romania and Bulgaria] is in force.”

Based on the EU reports noting insufficient progress in both Bucharest and Sofia, the Minister has concluded, writes DeVolkskrant, that “the rule of law [in Romania and Bulgaria] is not quite there, like the fight against corruption and organised crime [...]. It's a matter of trust - or rather, of that trust that's missing.”